Swinging so high I turned upside down
Fishing til the sun burnt my face
Occasional snake slithering near my chosen space
70s R&B on WDIA AM radio
Maybe a tidbit of the Paul Harvey Show
All the crawdads we could eat
Mosquitoes biting everything but my feet
Enough cousins at reunion
To give grandparents fits of confusion
A fan in the window
Green trees turned to shadow
Moonlight pure as a dream
Shoeless double dutching
Cranking mowers to cut familiar grass
Raking leaves into large Glad bags
Skipping rocks and maybe school
Loved breaking rules
Come in from the rain?
Only if there's lightning mane
I'd be remissed if I forgot to mention
Yearly District Conventions
Even the Memorial broke the monotony
Shoney's was the after party
Only so many ways to remember happy moments long gone few and far between the moments of blessed boredom.
Not able to define gratitude for all taken for granted. Too focused on harvested seeds of anger that were planted.
Walking in a shadow perfectly... sorta. Just a couple degrees off but there's no college for nightmare hoarders.
They say focus on the good, it wasnt all that bad, and at least you HAD a dad. I did. I had a dad and it wasnt all good and it wasnt all bad but I had a dad that was never going to be glad I was his firstborn son if I didnt choose to fit the vision that HE had and my dad never saw nor cared that every single day I was at school being 'bad' because every single day I spent with him I was so sad.
Happiness is an abstract concept to a child that hasn't been neglected but willfully and presently abandoned to someone else's version of happiness that makes no sense to them because it chokes their very soul from their lungs.
How many scriptures and belts tied around my neck and drug with me from The Theocratic Ministry School to the bottom of the Walker Park swimming pool?
So many songs that couldn't lift the spirit of a ghost. "We're Jehovah's Witnesses" was the one I enjoyed the most. 'Men make gods of wood and stone...' But purpose was a god unknown.
Knocking on doors with sleeping dogs and barking humans behind them kept my nerves in a constant state of wracked like being a Saturday morning alarm clock with the face of a cat.
For my first 15 years I did that and more and for ten years more I did a dance back and forth that defined me to my core until 2004 when I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I superglued shut that revolving door.
I did what any other captive aware of their captivity would do. I escaped my prison of sadness and enslaved myself to a journey of inner happiness.
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