Smokin' Love

Never smoke weed
And fall in love
At the same time
With the sacred space
You create
With that
Love at first sight type mate
Where souls congregate
Conscious masturbates into a light socket.
A surge birthed awareness of our private vortex.
Caught up
Lost
Oblivious
Weightless
Every thought over processed
Visually
Spiritually
Physically
Intoxifornicated Glimpses
I wouldn't leave her
I wouldn't hurt her
I wouldn't keep sending texts
She IS the Star of Texas
Inhaled her lotion
And my lungs exploded into verses
Of poetry saints, sinners,
Living, dead, all
Keep closer than Grannies purses.
The truth is
In the purity of every breath
I feel like I
Can touch everything anywhere anytime
Connected like the world wide web
We have broken all the generational curses.
I am forever yours
Through hell
Times worse than hell
I am under
All of your spell
You are the light at the end of the tunnel
Lighting the way for you and me
Like Jack and Jill
Moving on up that Hill
Hand in hand
Inseparable
Joined indivisible
Confined to our own galaxy
What did they put in this weed
To make real life more beautiful
Than fantasy?

Something

Every morning I die

As hope drips 

Like a tear from my eye.

Cursed with knowledge

I already know why.

Hope always had an alibi. 

Where was hope when they asked, 

What do you want to be

When YOU grow up?

Hope was in another dimension

Another time

Another place

Far far from this space-

Fear controlled the gap

So I stayed mentally strapped

But hope was still beat down

While riding around

Bugging everybody in town

The Saturday Morning clown. 

No red nose but a red book. 

You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth

Was the HOOK. 

You can live forever....

You can live forever....

Well your neighbor cant

But you....

You can live forever...

In a Paradise...

A land flowing with milk

(Haven't we seen what milk does to a body?)

And honey

( If the earth is a Paradise does that make it all local? )

You can live forever....

You... and you... and you... and you....

Maybe not your mom and dad or your kids or your grandparents or your aunts and uncles and cousins

But YOU.....

You can live forever in Jerry Jones's house if it doesn't get destroyed in Armageddon by Jehovah. 

Imagine that. 

Imagine if you built a house bigger than Neverland Ranch all by yourself.

Just imagine...

But while we're still here on THIS earth

In THIS dimension

At THIS time

You must follow all instruction and direction

From the "faithful and discreet slave"

As if it is your Master

But do not ask who your Master IS.

ALL written communication from US is from God

So any letterhead from The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society will be read and complied with implicitly

If you understand please nod. 

I'm joking. 

It doesn't matter if you understand or agree 

But you will NOT be pursuing a college degree 

For you are a Jehovah's Witness and there is nothing 

More important in this world than the door to door ministry. 

This is your your only truth. 

This is your only destiny. 

To let your mother and father go into eternity without you

And have to one day forget about you

Would be such a tragedy. 

But that ladies and gentlemen

Is what we mean 

When we say 

This cult operates on your mind

As a fear based monopoly. 

It's a thin line

Between hope and fear.

Thin like marionette strings. 

Leading us by two's to their Ark

Dragging our sacred Light

To hell's Dark.

Setting fire to family trees

And blueprints of souls

Along the way. 

Drowning a child's possibilities

Just so they forfeit hope

One day. 

Force fed my dreams

To the nearest black hole

Which I found in my heart

But it regurgitated my fantasies

To the back of my mouth

Where it burns like swallowed stars...

A daily reconstitution I pour out

Like a quill drenched with sewage

A smoothie made of my funkiest verbiage. 

Undiluted refuse welding my eyes together

Recycling a salt water reservoir 

I use 

To confuse

The nightmares spawning up my consciousness stream. 

I try to write

I try meditating at night. 

My palms are steady

My fingers stay ready. 

The weight of every day

Is heavy

This isn't menstruation

Shunning and ostracizing

Dont have lite days 

Good days

ARE cheat days. 

Depression is on the menu

For every ExJw.

Look around you. 

We're everywhere

And nowhere

But we're suffering in the light

And nobody cares. 

It didn't matter what I wanted to be

Being a Jehovah's Witness

Was my I.T.

It was IT

For me

Despite never being trained

In raising family

Despite never healing through my pain

And learning to cope with adversity

Despite not teaching me to be a man and the benefits of financial gain

And embracing survival as a reality

I learned the hard way

Day after day

Tear after tear

Year after year

Case after fuckin case...

I'm a rarity

no need for charity

Just because

There is no place

In this world for me.

After I die

My heart sleeps 

Yet no rest

Can be found

Behind these eyes. 

Weary and tired eyes. 

Hopeful

Unexpecting eyes. 

Truth does not burden. 

Unlike these lies.

Whose lie is it anyway?

Is it mine now?

I didn't start it

But I didn't stop it.

I might as well have wanted to be

A thumping Bibleholic 

But I'd rather drink Hennessy

Out on the open sea

With Mr. T

Than take one sip 

Of John 3:16.

So you'll have to forgive me.

I choose not to believe. 

I'd love to have both for a mentor though

Both jesus christ

AND Jerry Rice.  

I don't know about the holy ghost

But he caught a LOT

Of bricks

And set himself up

To be known as the best in the business.

In the late 80s

I was watching Jerry, Joe, and Michael. 

Wishing just once I could trade their cleats and hops 

For this maroon Bible. 

The Niners and Bulls

Were my escape

From a life so uncomfortable

Dr. Strange couldn't fix it

With his magic cape

No Avenger 

Is strong enough

To give me a do over

But I did smack Vision

With a Watchtower

Just to see if he was Awake...

Big mistake. 

Haunted by nightmarish scenes

Playing out like Wanda TV

Right in front of me

Chasing me 

Like Michael Myers 

And I am just another Jaime.....

God, if you are real

And you are listening

Forgive me

I know you love me

I'm just tired of wandering 

Like a nomadic refugee

Show me

There's still a purpose for me.....